Going through a traumatic experience makes it easy to surround yourself with protective proverbial walls.

While everyone responds to trauma differently, it’s normal to try to downplay the event(s) as much as possible. 

That’s why it’s not uncommon for adults who experienced childhood trauma to repress it for years. 

Even if you can acknowledge your trauma, it’s not easy to open yourself up and be vulnerable. There’s always the fear of getting hurt or exposing yourself to a potentially harmful situation. 

But, vulnerability can be an important part of the healing process. Giving up a little bit of control can open you up to new emotions and allow your true feelings to come through. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, but it’s something that will make you stronger. 

Still, understanding the importance of vulnerability and actually being vulnerable are two different things. How can you learn to let your guard down again? 

Take it Slowly

Start by setting small goals for yourself. You don’t want all of your emotions to rise to the surface overnight. That would overwhelm you and could cause you to retreat in fear again. 

Instead, take baby steps.  

First, decide what vulnerability actually looks like to you. 

What would it look like for you to be more vulnerable? What are some things you want to say, do, and experience? Asking yourself that question can not only be a great starting point for setting goals, but it can help you learn more about yourself in the process. 

Understand Yourself on a Deeper Level

Speaking of getting to know more about yourself, that’s extremely important when it comes to healing and vulnerability. 

Things like meditation, mindfulness, and journaling are all wonderful ways to learn more about yourself on a daily basis. They allow you to focus on the present while maintaining a fully relaxed and open state of mind. Feelings of worry or flashbacks from your trauma might try to creep in, but these practices are great for keeping them away and letting you remain in the moment. 

Find a place where you feel totally safe and comfortable, and open up to yourself. It can even help to talk to yourself in a mirror. That might seem a bit strange, at first, but that’s the point. Discomfort in talking with yourself needs to fade before you are able to be vulnerable with others.  

Be Willing to Share Your Truth

Being vulnerable isn’t just about sharing the “bad” things. It’s about expressing your truth in every aspect of life, including the “good stuff”. 

If you’re having a hard time being vulnerable after trauma, start by expressing the positive things in your life to the people you trust. Tell your friends and family members what they mean to you. Be completely honest with them about how you feel. 

Eventually, you’ll see that your openness is met with comfort and understanding. That kind of reinforcement will eventually make it easier to be more vulnerable about difficult things.

The most important thing to understand when it comes to being vulnerable is that you don’t have to go through it alone. 

If you’re having a hard time opening up or even fully understanding how to get there, don’t force it. You could be dealing with unresolved trauma that has created a hold on you for so long that you’re not sure how to break free. 

Therapy can help. Feel free to contact me if you’re ready to take the next steps in your healing journey. Your past trauma doesn’t have to dictate the rest of your life. Learning to be vulnerable again can make a big difference, and by working together through trauma therapy, we’ll set the right pace for you to be able to open up more freely.